Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Try My Proven Technique For Voting on Propositions!

How to vote for propositions by seeing who opposes them

Except for those mysterious "Undecided Voters", we all pretty much know who we'll be supporting in the presidential election. So instead on spreading the gospel according to Barak, I wanted to give you all a quick tour of California 's many confusing but important propositions on the November 4th ballot. I'm going to show you how easy it is to vote based on who opposes a proposition, because I believe that says more than anything about what the proposition really means. So often wording is meant to confuse voters. Opponents cannot be mistaken, you either like their positions or want to vomit all over their positions. So here we go!

Proposition 1A VOTE YES!
Safe, Reliable High-Speed Passenger Train Bond Act.

Who's Against it? HON. TOM McCLINTOCK, State Senator (YUCK!), Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association (VOTE OPPOSITE THIS GROUP EVERY TIME!)
Analysis: Spend lots of money on much needed public transportation infrastructure that's not automobile based! Can we afford not to do it? VOTE YES!!!!

Proposition 2 VOTE YES!
Standards for Confining Farm Animals. Initiative Statute.

Who's Against it? DR. CRAIG REED, DVM, Former Deputy Administrator Food Safety and Inspection Service, United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)
Analysis: USDA sucks. Slaughterhouses suck. Read Animal Vegetable Miracle. Do you like to lie down? Then VOTE YES. Otherwise, live in a cage for a year, and let me eat your soft flesh.

Proposition 3 VOTE YES!
Children's Hospital Bond Act. Grant Program. Initiative Statute.

Who's Against it? LEWIS K. UHLER, President National Tax Limitation Committee
Analysis: How low can you go to oppose children's hospitals? Parents support it. Kids are cool. Let's hospitalize all of them. VOTE YES!

Proposition 4 VOTE NO!
Waiting Period and Parental Notification Before Termination of Minor's Pregnancy. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.

Who's Against it? Nurses, Doctors and School Counselors. Nuff Said.

Proposition 5 VOTE YES!
Nonviolent Drug Offenses. Sentencing, Parole and Rehabilitation. Initiative Statute.

Who's Against it? California Narcotics Officers Association. CHOKE! Of course you vote opposite a bunch of narcs!
Analysis: The California Prison Industry is an entrenched political machine in California politics. Here's a reasonable and fair alternative for non-violent drug offenders to get the rehab that they need. I see no public benefit for putting them in jail. VOTE YES!

Proposition 6 VOTE NO!
Police and Law Enforcement Funding. Criminal Penalties and Laws. Initiative Statute.

Who's Against it? DANIEL MACALLAIR, Executive Director Center on Juvenile & Criminal Justice
Analysis: Whenever you hear people talk about safety, Vote opposite, they are using fear to persuade you. It's basically guaranteeing money in pockets of those supporting it. Just another misguided spending mandate, VOTE NO!

Proposition 7 VOTE YES!
Renewable Energy Generation. Initiative Statute.

Who's Against it? Puppet Environmentalists who have links to the for profit utility companies, PG&E, Sempra, you know who they are, you pay them every month!
Analysis: There's lots of money being spent on this one! The stakes are high! VOTE YES!

Proposition 8 VOTE NO!
Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.

Who's Against it? Doctors, Nurses, People you rely on every day to keep the world functioning.
Analysis: CONSTITUTIONAL AMMENDMENT, AUTOMATIC NO! A vote of No means you like gay marriage, FYI!

Proposition 9 VOTE NO!
Criminal Justice System. Victims' Rights. Parole. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.

Who's Against it? SHEILA A. BEDI, Executive Director Justice Policy Institute
Analysis: Not Necesary. Fear Based Advocacy always means VOTE NO!

Proposition 10 VOTE NO!
Alternative Fuel Vehicles and Renewable Energy. Bonds. Initiative Statute.

Who's Against it? Yawn...It's really late and I'm sleepy. Must...Finish....Voter..Guide......
Analysis: It might be a gift to T Boone Pickens, I'm actually getting tired now, going to sleep, VOTE NO!

Proposition 11 VOTE YES! YES! YES!
Redistricting. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.

Who's Against it? MARTY HITTLEMAN, President California Federation of Teachers (Hmm. An entrenched powerful interest group opposes this, me thinks VOTE YES!!!)
Analysis: Just woke up! VOTE YES. Something has to change in Sac Town!

Proposition 12 VOTE YES!
Veterans' Bond Act of 2008

Who's Against it? Who is "GARY WESLEY?"
Analysis: Seiously, Who is "GARY WESLEY?" Since only one person opposes it, VOTE YES just to be safe.

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And to All a Good Night!

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