Friday, October 2, 2009

Breaking free from the chains of Epson

I love my old epson printer. Epson Stylus Photo R200. All I use it for is to print random things like Paypal shipping forms and movie tickets to the Arclight, perhaps a google map here and there.

The other day, the printer kindly notified me that 2 ink cartridges were out of ink, Magenta and Light Cyan.

"No bother", I told my printer. (I was only printing a B&W shipping form.) "Continue and print my form please."

"NO!" said the printer. "I will not! Not until you replace the empty ink cartridges."

"Printer, it's cool. It's not color, just go ahead and print it. I promise it will work just fine", I said, getting a little warmer. Was the AC on in here, I wondered to myself.

"You don't understand!" the printer scolded back at me, it's red light now blinking at a furious pace. "I cannot and will not print one more thing until you replace those cartridges."

Now I was angry. My printer thought it knew better than me what it could and couldn't do. I knew the black ink was just waiting to be spit out on the paper, giving me a shipping form that I now wanted more than a trip to Scoops!

So what's going on here? Why does my printer defiantly disobey my commands like it doesn't have any respect for me?

Epson cleverly, or rather deviously, placed a small microship in each ink cartridge that monitored the use of ink and once the level was determined to be empty, it would tell the printer to stop printing. Mind you, the cartridge doesn't need to be actually empty for this to happen. It could have many pages left and still be functionally useless due to this mis-application of technology.

Seeing that I was up against a corporation intent on forcing me to purchase their liquid crack at outrageously high prices even when I didn't need it, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I was going to give my little printer a lobotomy, and remove the parts of it's brain I found useless. It turns out people have been thinking the same thing for a while now, and even built special surgical instruments to quickly slice out this useless flesh in one stroke.

Making it's debut all the way from Nanshan District in Shenzhen China....Behold the YXD268-II! It's a multi-function chip resetter with the following specs:

1. YXD268-II can RESET the chip on the cartridge into full mode.
2. YXD268-II can also DETECT the chip status.
3. Red and Green LED for easy identification.
4. Both sides CONCAVES for easy holding.

It slices, it dices, it saves you money time. Folks, step right up and gets yours today!

Now my printer is happily printing in black and white, blissfully unaware it's almost out of magenta and light cyan. And when it runs out, I'll know, because my printouts will be ugly and weird. I don't care, it's just a google map...

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